QUEER WITHOUT FEAR

[VOICES] Founder of Malaysia's only sexuality rights festival, Pang Khee Teik, Seksualiti Merdeka, writes an open letter to his community.



A message for LGBTs who say that LGBT rights activism is making things worse

Someone wrote to me saying: "According to many of my friends, they were doing just fine getting around under the radar until Seksualiti Merdeka 'decided' to fight for LGBT rights publicly. Now they blame Seksualiti Merdeka and its organisers for the scrutiny that they are being put through."

Your fears are real. I have been there before. Always thinking twice for everything I did in case I get caught. At home, I was careful of calls I received. At work, I was careful of emails. I deleted all chats and online histories. After looking over my shoulders to be doubly triply sure no one was looking, I might have some relieve. I had to lie all the time. I had to get out of sight just for some human touch, I had to hide my love. And I feared that these few precious moments would be gone should people find out. So I maintained my silence. And with my silence, I surrendered my dignity.

But not anymore. That is why I can tell you this. It doesn’t have to be this way.

When we chose to trade in our dignity for the privilege of being left alone we will always think that this privilege is all we are worth. We live under the radar because we think under the radar is where we belong. We forget that life is for living, not for existing in the shadows.

We pay for these privileges with our silence, and this silence, while pleasant in times of innocence will render us unable to speak for ourselves in times of injustice.

This silence is what feeds the beast of oppression. While we live silently, those less able than us to hide will become victims at the jaws of the beast. You and I feed the beast when we chose to keep silent about injustice faced by others. We may be lucky to escape, but not everyone is that lucky.

LGBT children are kicked out of their homes, with nowhere to go they often end up selling themselves, for the privilege to survive. Transgender individuals are denied work, they are beaten up, sometimes by vigilantes, sometimes by religious officers, sometimes by police. All they want is the privilege to walk down the street without getting beaten up. LGBTs continue to be easy target for sexual abuse and are made to feel like it is their fault, so they never report it and they are denied the privilege of justice. Gay professionals from teachers to engineers to police are blackmailed at work, so they pay up to avoid being exposed, to keep that privilege to work. All around, many LGBTs, out of their love for their families, force themselves to separate from the ones they truly love and marry someone they don't, buying a lifetime of silence for the privilege of not being kicked out from the family. When all these privileges add up to zero, many young LGBTs attempt suicide as they contemplate a life without happiness and meaning. How many of us must suffer this way before we finally realise that our silence has allowed their continued suffering?

My friends, these are not new events. They have been happening even before Seksualiti Merdeka came about. We who have been working on the issue know these stories. They have haunted us until we became restless. Until we had to do something. So we became their voices.

The only reason you hear about it more and more is because we have put LGBT issues on the news. All around the country, people are speaking up about injustice. The news is being reported. We have broken the silence. But there is a price. Those who prefer to keep us silent are afraid we expose their hypocrisy. They will step up on their bullying.

We who have been silent are now afraid. We point our fingers at those who speak up. We say they made things worse. We say they made us live in fear.

BUT THE FACT IS WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN FEAR. We have just gotten used to it. The only difference now is that suddenly we are forced to confront our fears.

We live in fear because we don’t know how to live without fear. We are afraid to lose our privileges. It is a tragedy we have grown to like our crumbs. It is a tragedy we allow those we elect to run the system bully us and determine our small rewards for accepting their power over us. It is a tragedy we let them get away with taking away our voices. Don’t let them get away with it.

If we refuse to feed the beast, it will starve. Yes, it will get angry and it will sniff for blood. When we stop being afraid, the beast will find more ways to make us fear it again. It bares its fangs and howls louder. It snaps its jaws at us. It is afraid. Of us.

Together we can challenge it: starve the beast, change the system.

Being left alone is not our privilege. It is our right. Falling in love is not our privilege. It is our right. Expressing who we are is not our privilege. It is our right. Not being beaten up is not our privilege. It is our right. Not being punished for not hurting anybody is not our privilege. It is our right. Having a job, having a home, having friends, are not our privileges. They are our rights. We don't have to pay for these rights. These rights are ours from the moment we were born. Don't settle for less.

Seksualiti Merdeka hopes to empower all Malaysians to realise we deserve equality. The same rights as everyone. Like everyone else, we don’t have to be kicked out from homes, beaten up, arrested, fired from work, forced to marry, and have nowhere to run for justice. We certainly don’t have to be rehabilitated. There is nothing wrong with us. We don’t have to live in fear.

We are not asking for more. We don’t need privileges. A system that grants privileges to some is also a system that deprives others. We are not asking for less. We don’t want to have to lie about ourselves and pretend to be straight in order to be given the same rights. It takes away our dignity.

So speak up about injustice. Speak up for love. Don’t deny each other’s realities. If you have not suffered discrimination, good for you. Don’t deny the realities of those who have. Use your position to speak up for those who have suffered.

If you have been living in the closet, start to think about the kind of future you want and work towards it. If that future includes living and loving proudly, prepare yourself for it. Read up, meet people, work with us.

Tell our politicians to stop minding our private affairs and start minding the country. Tell our leaders we want equality for all regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. Tell our friends and families not to be distracted from issues of corruption, inefficiency and mismanagement of the country. Register to vote. Get involved in fighting for our democractic rights, minority rights, human rights causes. Activate for changes in laws, policies and constitutions to protect our rights. These issues determine our future.

Fear is the tool of the tyrant in making us utterly alone and powerless. We are not alone. And we are not powerless. We must change our fear into outrage. For neither living with fewer fears nor living with more fears is any way to live at all. We must stand together. A future without fear is worth giving up a few lousy privileges for.

RUSSIA PREACHES HATE

[VOICES] Despite widespread international opposition, on February 29th, the St. Petersburg parliament adopted a controversial bill which imposes fines on anyone engaging in 'public activities to promote sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality and transsexuality.'


This bill clearly sets dangerous precedent for the government's ability to suppress public demonstrations and activism particularly involving LGBT issues. In addition to fueling homophobic sentiments in Russia, this violates the right to freedom of expression and assembly and protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Please sign this petition boycotting tourism in St. Petersburg to pressure Governor Poltavchenko.
 
For more information on this issue please visit Human Rights Watch

Special thanks to Josh Wood for Human Rights

HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS

[VOICES] Lisa and Jenni's global adventure to search out "Supergays" takes them to a royal audience with a Prince.

When Jenni and I first researched the idea for Out & Around, I googled “Gay Around the World” and came up with a video clip of Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil speaking on Oprah in 2007 about gay life in India. We found Prince Manvendra’s story so compelling that we built our entire project around trying to meet Supergays like him to inspire others. So, we were thrilled when we had a chance to meet him while he vacationed in Udaipur, India.

Prince Manvendra is the 39th direct descent of a 650 year old dynasty. He grew up in a palace with 200 servants and the pressure of an arranged marriage. After a divorce and a hospitalization due to a nervous breakdown, he chose to speak publicly about his sexual orientation with the hope of changing how his fellow citizens of India viewed homosexuality. His honesty with the public led his parents to publicly disown him and accuse him of bringing great shame to the royal family.

Yet, Prince Manvendra has thrived since coming out and reappeared on Oprah in 2011 to tell how his life has moved forward. He founded the Lakshya Trust which supports sexual minorities in India,  and he was a keynote speaker this winter for a symposium on gay tourism in India. In his state of Rajpipla, there is now a restaurant with out HIV positive employees, a Transgender Welfare Board, and plans for a retirement home for LGBT individuals (which Oprah promised to inaugurate next year).

Despite his stature in society, Prince Manvendra took the time to welcome us to his country. He noted the importance of “gay family” in his own life, and he invited Jenni and I to stay at his palace next time we travel to India. With such a royal invitation, we will be sure to return sometime soon!

Here is a little Q & A with the Prince about his work, dating, adoption, television appearances, and royal life….


O&A: What is the day-to-day life like for a Prince?
Prince Manvendra: The day-to-day life is a bit different than that of a commoner. We have a lot of responsibility over our shoulder to look after the interest of the people and the town. Though India is a democratic country now, there are a lot of people who depend on us for the welfare and development of the town.

When I am not working in my LGBT and HIV projects, I like to organically farm, breed earthworms, and teach yoga. I also pass a lot of time learning music. I’m learning the harmonium, a classical Indian instrument, and I give stage performances.

O&A: What do you enjoy most about your role?

Prince Manvendra: I’m proud that I’m born in the royal family. I enjoy a lot of privileges and respect. I love doing my job because today’s politicians are not following their roles. Most of them are corrupt. The people in our town look up to us in times of crisis. I try to carry out the duties of my forefathers in the past.

O&A: What’s it like looking back on your coming out experience?

Prince Manvendra: My main purpose coming out openly was that a) I wanted to break the myth that prevails in Indian society that homosexuality is a western influence b) that homosexuality only exists in the lower economic status and c) to improve education about HIV to reduce the stigma. I didn’t expect this matter to reach to Oprah; I expected it just to carry to national news. I created a big controversy in India because nobody from the royal family had come out and spoken so openly about one’s private life.


O&A: Who inspired you most to come out?

Prince Manvendra: There were a lot of people who inspired me. The most important person is (fellow Supergay) Ashok Row Kavi, my godfather in the gay family. He brought me away from the feeling of guilt and exposed me to the gay world. Being from the royal family, I didn’t have a chance to meet other gay men. I started working in Humsafar Trust and was trained as a counselor. Ashok introduced me to a lot of people working in HIV.

O&A: How has your life changed since coming out on Oprah?

Prince Manvendra: Oprah’s interview was the second turning point in my life. Her interview brought into limelight a lot of issues on homosexuality and HIV in India that was not known to the Western world. For example, one of the things that came out is that 85% of our gay men are married to women, most of them forcibly. Also, the world learned that homosexual acts were a crime in India [as of the 2007 interview]. This came out to the whole world and people gave me a lot of affirmation. I then received invitations from world leaders in Sweden, Brazil, Australia, and France and began to travel more.

O&A: Last year you were on a BBC reality TV show called Undercover Princes in which you lived a covert life as an ordinary person in England, holding down a job as a housekeeper and dating. What did you learn about yourself from that experience?

Prince Manvendra: It was a challenge for me. It gave me an opportunity to have a commoner’s life which I would not be able to do in India. I also wanted to try to find true love, which I had failed to find in India.

[In the royal family], love doesn’t come even within the family. There is a lot of formality existing between the children and the parents. We don’t even call each other by names because we are so formal. We maintain a distance. When the natural love is not formed even between a parent and child, you can imagine how hard it is to find love in other areas as well.

The TV show hasn’t been aired in India as of yet. The relatives of mine who have seen the show wished that I had not shared some of the royal secrets, but others have said it is important that it is shared so that people don’t think it is always so rosy.


O&A: So what’s it like to date now in India?

Prince Manvendra: There are a lot of gay dating sites in India. I use a site. The problem is that people don’t believe it is actually me. Whenever they see my profile and photographs they argue with me to take my profile down. They think I am a fake and ask me not to spoil the image of the prince they respect so much. I have a difficult time convincing them. They ask what I am doing on a website. And I say, “You forget. A prince is also a human being with the same emotions and desires. But if you don’t believe me, then God bless you.” But I am open to love.

O&A: Your mother publicly rejected you when you came out in 2006. What is your relationship like now?

Prince Manvendra: It’s the same. But one thing is for sure… she’s realized that she can’t make me straight. She’s lost all hope about curing me. She also doesn’t create any obstacles for me in my activism and HIV work. There are still a lot of misconceptions about how HIV is spread in my town. She had these ideas that I would get infected because I worked with HIV positive people, but now she has learned the basics.

A journalist asked me once how I felt when my mother disowned me. I told him that I felt that she never owned me. She never gave me the love and affection that a mother should give a child. So I have no regrets.

O&A: You’ve publicly announced that you plan to adopt a child in the near future?

Prince Manvendra: Adoption has been common in most royal families in India. The male is very important to carry on the family lineage. I made this announcement to answer the questions of the people in my town who are looking forward to the next in line. I have not yet reached the stage where I have taken action since my father still has the authority to make decisions. Once I take charge, than I will take over the decision about the adoption. It will be a full grown boy from the extended family itself.

O&A: Tell us about the HIV organization that you started in 2000.

Prince Manvendra: When I founded Lakshya Trust, we were helped by Humsafer Trust, India’s first organization that started working on HIV and homosexuality. The idea was to create a platform where the gay population in my state could come together to talk about issues (marriage pressure, police harassment, social issues, legal issues, and HIV). Lots of our friends were dying and we needed to spread awareness. We were lucky that the government in our state came to our side and funded us.

Now an HIV positive network in my state has started a restaurant and employed HIV positive people there to show that you can’t get infected by someone cooking for you. That’s mainstreaming. If you can get the support of society you have won.

O&A: What keeps you most engaged in your work?

Prince Manvendra: I’ve created my own gay family. This gay family keeps me going on because of the amount of love I’ve received. They’ve always supported me during my bad times, emotional turmoil, and happy times. This motivates me to work more for the community and welfare of our people. You need to build a support system.

There is a favorite quote of mine, “Gay rights cannot be won in the courtrooms, but in the hearts and the minds of the people.” I think it is no longer a national issue, but a global issue. We have to all unite.

O&A: What are some of the positive changes that you have seen since the decision of the Delhi High Court to decriminalize homosexuality in 2009?

Prince Manvendra: There was recently a symposium on gay tourism in India last month. There are also now multiple new gay publications. The judgment has brought about a lot of liberalization in the country. Bollywood is portraying homosexuality in more serious roles rather than ridiculing us or treating us as clowns as in the past. The Delhi judgment has mainstreamed homosexuality into society. There is still a long way to go, but we just have to continually fight for it.

O&A: What’s next for you?

Prince Manvendra: In my own town, I’ve started a retirement home for the LGBT community. It will be the first of its kind in Asia. That home will house a lot of seniors from the community. In India, we are used to living with the joint family. After coming out, a lot of us are thrown out of the family and don’t have a place to go. Old age can be the most difficult time in a person’s life and the time when you need the maximum support. We want people to live the rest of their lives in peace.

We’re actually getting inquiries from people from all over the world. It’s open to anyone regardless of race, caste, religion, nationality. All you have to be is LGBT.

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Jennifer Chang and Lisa Dazols are from San Francisco but are travelling the world in search of gay people who are creating change for the LGBT community. The project, Out and Around: Stories of a Not-So-Straight Journey, is a collection of their conversations with these “Supergays” around the world. Their trip will cover 15 countries across Asia, Africa, and South America, chosen because those are places where the LGBTQ movement is just starting to take shape, and they want to tell the stories of the people there who are leading the charge. www.outandaround.com.

QUEER AND MUSLIM?

[VOICES] Abdul Rohman, faculty at the Indonesian Islamic University talks about faith and sexual orientation in The Jakarta Post.



Here is a take-out of the full article from the 12 December 2011 article in The Jakarta Post.

"Insisting that same-sex relations are actually compatible with religious beliefs would almost certainly challenge mainstream perspectives.

Within the context of Indonesia, as the country with the largest Islamic population, you cannot be a gay or lesbian, for example, and a good Muslim at the same time because most Islamic teaching bans same-sex practices.

I do not attempt to justify homosexuality or promote gay culture but I call for a dialogue on religions and sexual preferences.

Sexual identity and religion are sensitive and contradictory issues in Indonesia. Only a few are willing to discuss them open-mindedly. Most are likely to say that having a different sexual preference is a perversion of religion and a betrayal of human nature or social norms. Luckily, we still have various media able to look at the issue through a different lens.

We may recall a story about a transvestite who was jailed because she married a man whom she loved. Previously, the court had ordered her to become the “real man” she was naturally intended to be. Another example is a transgendered person whose access to healthcare was denied because their gender identity was not recognized administratively.

Coming out as a homosexual in public can potentially rob you of your job, reputation, social life and lead to alienation from your family. It is as if letting people know that you have a different sexual preference from the majority is taboo and violates nature. Therefore, many gays opt to live in the closet and in some circumstances commit suicide. This shows how being sexually different from the mainstream culture makes individuals vulnerable.

Being a Muslim and gay at the same time sounds incompatible. Without attempting to make subjective justification based on religious texts, however, both aspects can coexist if we look at the idea that serving God has nothing to do with sexual preference. In many verses of the Koran there is no explicit sentence saying that someone cannot serve God if he or she practices same-sex relationships. Also, there are competing ideas about whether the people of Lot were punished because of their homosexuality or their negligence in serving God.

Within a more humanistic framework, celebrating beliefs and expressing sexual identity are part of our human rights and for that reason the government should recognize them as they are explicitly mentioned in international documents.

Nonetheless, for particular reasons the government has remained ignorant and let righteous vigilante groups exercise violence against sexual preference discourse.

Should homosexuals give up their faith even though they still believe that Islam is a peaceful religion and a blessing for the universe? Gay people still can practice their religious duties since religion is a personal relation with God and has nothing to do with sexual preferences. What can we expect from religious groups that spread their ideologies through blasphemy, abuse and negligence of their sense of shared humanity as creatures created by the same God as gay people? ..."

Read the full article from the 12 December 2011 article in The Jakarta Post.